*Laughs* J: I was gonna tell Damon this before camera was on. J: I was like, “You know what I gotta tell everybody out there that this is really how I’m feeling.” D: I don’t know where you’re going with this. I’m scared. J: Gooood! J: Thailand (D: uh oh), my friends, (D: uh oh, everybody!) Thailand… (D: Stay, stay there!) …my friends…. D: She’s about to go somewhere, everyone stay there! Keep watching. (J: You’re gonna stay right there?) D: Imma stay right here, I’m comfortable. J: Thailand is a land of FOMO! (fear of missing out) You guys, it’s a sad, sad land of FOMO. It’s beautiful and that’s the irony. It’s like it’s so beautiful here that no matter what you do, no matter what plans you make, you’re going to leave feeling like you missed out on the most beautiful island because there are so many beautiful islands which is a good thing! It’s Koh Tao, I really wanted to see Koh Tao but we couldn’t, we couldn’t stay another day; we have a flight tomorrow to Chaing Mai D: Okay, if you’re coming to Thailand, just plan ample time in each city because we spent, we spent like a day in each island. That’s not enough to see anything J: No, which is why we went back to Koh Phi Phi, like, c’mon. Also, know that every single island for the most part has an airport so don’t do stupid things like we did to be like, “Oh, well they’re not gonna have an airport on an island!” “Let’s go back to the mainland!” We’re used to having to plan our own airport transfer, plan our own boat, plan everything individually. Don’t do that! Here in Thailand, they’re like the land of the all-inclusive packages. *laughs* D: Honestly, you will waste your money if you do it all separately. Typically we would do that; we would be like, “Hahaha! Tour groups!” Nooo (J: Noo) When you’re in here you gotta do the tour groups J: But you can buy a ticket that’s amazingly cheaper from… to take a bus, to a boat, to a bus, to a taxi, to your hotel. You’ll spend less money doing that than you will doing what we did, which is like, “Oh and then we have to go here, so let’s book a taxi, and then we gotta…” – No. Just, like you’ll save time and money if you buy the all-inclusive deals. And you can find those when you arrive here in Thailand. *takes a deep breath* I’m just sad! But now we go to Chaweng. D: I don’t know if they’re a couple over there; what do you think their story is? They look happy. J: Oh, the sopranos? D: They smiled at me when I walked downstairs. When we were re-booking another day here because we’re not going to Koh Tao! Yeah, that time. J: Let’s not… make me feel any better. D: Where do you think they’re from, Russia? J: Totally. *Damon laughs* D: ‘Cause everyone’s from Russia in Thailand randomly. Oh he’s picking his nose… that’s what I need to do. *Both laugh* J: You’re so nasty! D: Da-da-dum! *Drum punchline sound* J: So what do you wanna do now? I’m gonna try to ride the *imitates motorbike* broom-broom – the motorbike? D: Maybe be google like a little massage parlor? Which sounds so bouj (snobby) everybody but it literally cost $10 for an hour. J: Do we need to flash the video up on the screen? J: *very relaxed* This is so nice. D: The massage kind of hurts *laughs* *Massage ladies laugh* D: Oh this is my favorite one… ow! J: You’re welcome. D: Ok, real quick everybody, I’m gonna show you something reaaally cool in Thailand. Don’t know why… Why? J: Tell ’em why, D, tell ’em why. D: You know what, imma tell you why: because it’s a cheap design and that’s… that’s… (Jo: That’s why it’s so stupid!) *Damon laughs* J: Not that cheap things are stupid, because you know I’m the cheap queen. D: *says in high cartoony voice* Cause if it’s free… (*Jo joins in*) It’s for me! And it’s for you too! So, this is what they do in most Thai bathrooms J: I mean does anybody notice what’s missing? D: *Laughs* Does anybody notice what’s missing? Oh wait where’s the drain? Is it there? Is it there? Is it there? It’s gotta be way over there be the door! J: This is what I do; I don’t know if you do this… *while sweeping water with foot towards drain* Weeeeeeee! *Damon laughs* J: Weeeeeeee! D: And then, if you’re lucky, you won’t fall and slip on your own… (J: It’ll be like, “Whoooooa!”) D: Whooooa! *higher pitch* Whoooa! *Jo laughs* D: You know what else is nice, and I just read this on Quora this morning… J: Always on Quora… *Both laugh* J: This is not a sponsored video D: On Quora this morning, they were taking about like what is the most unhygienic thing… (J: We do as humans?) D: …we do, and it’s not having a bidet. D: Tell me how…. why don’t we have bidets? J: Yeah like why do we think a little gross, dry piece of paper is enough to clean the bacteria? D: Why don’t we use water to wash? J: Or better yet, wippies is the way. J: Look at my stuff! I have to organize my bags. And I also have to carefully select the items of clothing that I will leave behind here, because you know, that’s a tradition for me. D: This is the real life of a travel vlogger: *clears throat* Laptops and cords by the bed! J: By water! look how many waters. *Both laugh* J: Why do we have so many waters? *continues laughing* J: You guys, this is probably a vlog of it’s own, so, in case it is, if you liked this video, don’t forget to give it a like. *laughs* D: Make sure to subscribe if you’ve been to Thailand and you can relate to these struggles. J: Land of FOMO? Can we all agree? Comment below if you feel the same. *Cheery, high pitch voice* And with all that said, *Damon attempts to join in* we gon’ see you later! D: *disappointingly*…ohh… D: Bye. J: One more time? Okay. D: Okay. D: We gon’… / J: And w… J: And with all that said, we gon’… D: Ok whoaa… Both: And with all that said, we gon’ see you in the next video! *Damon whistles* J: Weird intonation… okay, *says Thai phrase* D: What’d you just say? J: Thailand is FOMO land! D: And why is it? J: Because no matter what you choose to do, you will always be upset. You know why? ‘Cause I just had a realization: Ok so yeah, if we went to Koh Tao, that would’ve been awesome. But then I would’ve felt like I missed out on Chaweng Beach here. D: Which is what we’re gonna go do today! J: Which is what we’re gonna do today! D: But now you’re gonna feel bad because you didn’t go to Koh Tao. J: But now I feel better because at least I know I’m not gonna miss out on Chaweng. You see how it is? See how it works? *Damon laughs* J: Okay thank you.