What is your criteria in judging your meditation? The joy of practising meditation is that; No 2 days of meditation are the same. If yesterday’s meditation was excellent, Today you may have been dozing. Someone’s may not be good yesterday, But today, he may have come close to liberation! That itself shows that meditation has no
bearing with the session on meditation; Meditation has a relationship with all 24 hours. The way you lived from last
evening to this evening, All those things would have
influenced your meditation today. Now my question is: How was today’s meditation session? I am giving you 3 options: 1) Very good 2) Okay 3) Very bad Decide your answer, then I will ask you. My question is: What was the criteria for your answer? Why did you give that answer? Why you are saying, very good? Why you are saying, very bad? Why you are saying, medium? That is not my question. My question is: What is your criteria in judging your meditation? What were you actually expecting from this session? You were expecting something from the process of meditation, Which didn’t happen. On the first or second day, You want to become a millionaire, Or rather billionaire. It is your second day in the office. If you go on the first day, And stay there for just 15 minutes, How much will you earn? And you want to become a billionaire! By doing just 15 minutes on the second day, So, you can say you put in only 5 minutes of effort. Yet, “I did not get peace!” “Everyone was saying, in meditation you see light,” “You attain the soul, you attain liberation,
you experience peace,” “Fountains of bliss gush forth;” “And I saw only darkness,” “Sleep, exhaustion, boredom and leg pain,” “I felt only these things.” When you dig a well – in the beginning, You won’t get water, you will find only pebbles. When you start digging the earth, You will find pebbles, sand or sometimes stones. But if you keep digging relentlessly, You will also get sweet water. You haven’t even realised that
you have embarked on a long journey. If you boarded Continental in Bombay, To go to New York, Within 5 minutes, you ask the air hostess, “How far is New York now?” Do you realise you have not set out for Borivali, You have set out for New York. If you have left from Santacruz for Borivali, You can ask, how much time is left. But, it has hardly been 5 minutes, And you are asking, how long till New York! Someone was 8 kilometres away from Delhi, And he asked another person, “How long will I take to reach Delhi?” That man just gestured like this, means carry on. When he did not get an answer, The person started walking towards Delhi. He went a little ahead, and that man called him back. He called him and said, “You will take 25 minutes.” “When I asked you, you didn’t reply,” “Now after a while, you are telling me,” “I didn’t understand the meaning behind it.” Because it depends which direction you are heading towards, And at what speed you are going. This will determine when you will reach. We want to talk about turning within, We want to talk about meditation, But we like the outside world. Somewhere the purpose of meditation is not yet strong in you. Purpose! If the purpose is not strong, You won’t have that much passion, And if there is no passion, 15 minutes may feel like 2-3 hours to you. You’ll start feeling that. Sometimes, that one minute also, is too much. Sometimes you feel even one hour passed very fast. Sometimes 2 minutes are also too much. These are all mental games. It only shows that, Yet you don’t have a purpose of meditation in you. Your eyes will show how much purpose you have. Purpose=Passion=Very interesting. If you get bored, it only shows, I am not saying that you are a very sinful soul, If you are bored, it only shows that, You have not given rise to the necessity
for meditation in your life. You have not felt it is a necessity. Now slowly, with practise, We have to change that. And if you are feeling dejected, Then I would say, You are over expecting from yourself. Don’t label your meditation so fast. It was very bad. Because whatever judgement you pass just now, It will immediately affect your next meditation. Those who said, “Very bad,”
will not feel like meditating tomorrow. Because they will be haunted, ‘Yesterday’s was very bad.’ ‘I just can’t focus, I can’t concentrate.’ You were not supposed to do anything like that actually. You did not have to focus, concentrate or count. You did everything; You made it a very difficult job, And it will impact your next meditation. ‘It is very painful, very boring.’ And that which is painful and boring – You won’t feel like doing it. Did you try to stay a witness or not? If you have done this much, Excellent meditation! Pat yourself! If you start giving punishments to yourself, And harsh punishments, you will not enjoy. You think, ‘If I take a harsh punishment as repentance,’ ‘I have not done my meditation today,’ ‘If I take a severe punishment as repentance,’ ‘I will learn my lesson.’ ‘From tomorrow, I will become more careful.’ The exact opposite will happen. You become so harsh that you feel, Meditation=Misery, This is the equation you’ll remember. Meditation=Remaining hungry, Meditation=Tension, Gradually, you just don’t enjoy meditating. Yesterday someone said, “I know meditation is good,” “But that inclination, that urge, that passion does not come.” So I must say one thing. I will tell you one story. There was a society of Jesuits, A Christian religious congregation, Those who wanted to get initiated
and become a nun or a sister, An entire course was designed for them, In which, you had to do a certain amount of
reading, meditation, and austerity, There were all those conditions listed for it. If you have followed those conditions for 2 years, You can go to the head, Who takes one last test for you, If you pass that, Then you are initiated into that order. A lady went to give the test. She said, “Ma’am, I have done everything,” “I have studied the Bible.” “I have followed the course set up
for studies, for bhakti and for meditation.” “I have followed all the rules.” She said, “I am not interested in that.” What a shock of her life that must have been! She had been doing it since 2 years, And that lady was not even interested in knowing. She asked only one question, “How strong is your yearning to attain God?” “Show me how much passion you have to experience God.” That is the only test. That is the only question. Final question! If she passes that, she is into the order. If she does not pass in that, they say,
“Go back. Practise again.” Just show me how much passion you have to meet God. That’s it. That congregation was so good, Suppose if you fail, If an intense passion has not arisen, I can do all my daily prayers and everything perfectly, But if that passion, that bubbly spirit is not there, Every night, if there are no tears, That I have not yet experienced God, It’s okay, go to sleep, I will try tomorrow. Even if it does not happen, life is going on, right? Passion! Do you cry for Him every day? These are the questions asked. She said, “No ma’am,” “I don’t have that intense passion for God.” “But I have an intense passion
to have a passion for God.” Pass! “I don’t have so much passion for meditation,” “But the yearning to have the same passion
for meditation as others, has begun.” You are on the path. You have already entered the one-way street. In saying that I have not got the urge, But I have the urge for that passion, You have entered the one-way street. In a very short while, you will pick up speed, And you will say, “I just cannot stay without meditating, minimum 2 times.”